Have you ever forced a smile at an insensitive joke, or felt uncomfortable when someone put an arm around you, but stayed silent for fear of being called “too sensitive”? In actuality, it might be difficult to distinguish between cordial communication and boundary violations when using the term “just joking.” Through a psychological lens, this article helps you clearly identify 06 personal boundaries commonly violated in daily life. By understanding these invisible wounds, we will together re-establish a “Culture of consent”, which is essential to jointly establishing a fair, respectable, and secure learning environment.
When people think of sexual harassment, they often associate it with coercive acts or behaviors that are clearly intentional. However, in everyday life, there are many behaviors that may seem harmless and do not always constitute sexual harassment under the law, yet they can still violate personal boundaries, cause psychological distress, and undermine another person’s sense of safety. When such behaviors are sexual in nature or continue despite the other person having expressed that they are unwelcome, unwanted, or make them uncomfortable, they may constitute sexual harassment.
1. Body-shaming in the pretext of humor
In daily life, it is not hard to hear comments about someone’s weight, figure, physical features, or clothing. Even when disguised as a “joke,” “humor,” or “care,” it may constitute verbal sexual harassment when the words contain sexual content or sexual innuendo and are unwelcome by the person receiving them.
Whether intentional or inadvertent, remarks about one’s physical appearance exert unseen psychological pressure that leaves the recipient feeling overwhelmed and judged. (Source: Báo Dân trí)
A sincere compliment always comes from respect and brings a positive feeling to the listener. Conversely, disparaging remarks regarding one’s physical appearance or body-shaming are considered “unwelcome” actions. It must be emphasized that “unwelcome” does not mean the recipient must object immediately when the incident occurs. In many cases, out of fear of crowd judgment or damaging relationships, victims choose to remain silent; however, this silence absolutely does not equate to consent.
When victims proactively speak up, instead of being protected, the crowd often minimizes their feelings by labeling them “sensitive” or “overreacting.” This pressure inadvertently forces many students to withdraw and change how they dress to avoid attention. It is time to eliminate the habit of commenting on physical appearances to restore a safe space for every individual.
2. Pulling hands, putting arms around shoulders, or holding hands without consent
Openness and friendliness are sometimes unintentionally mistaken for the right to freely touch someone physically. However, this is never a valid excuse to disregard the principle of consent. Every individual has complete ownership of their body, and physical boundaries are inviolable.
Sudden physical contact, such as grabbing a hand or wrapping an arm around the neck or shoulders, is a physical boundary violation that can trigger a startle response and panic. From a behavioral psychology perspective, an unpermitted touch is a direct invasion of personal space, making the receiver feel deprived of their autonomy and safety. Respecting others’ physical boundaries, starting with asking for permission, is the bare minimum in all social relationships.
3. Public matchmaking / Shipping
Psychological pressure does not stop at individual interactions but also comes from collective jokes. The constant romantic pairing of two individuals, probing into private lives, or forcing them to participate in intimate games in front of a group is a heavy form of psychological pressure.
This behavior pushes the individuals involved into a dead-end dilemma, and can even cause unnecessary misunderstandings and trouble if they are in another personal relationship. If they react strongly to protect their emotional boundaries, the crowd often judges them as a “buzzkill,” “dramatic,” or “antisocial.” Conversely, if they choose to endure in silence to let it pass, the teasing will likely escalate. When matchmaking is accompanied by sexually suggestive remarks, comments on their love life, or forcing intimate behaviors, it can cross the line of a joke and become verbal harassment, or even sexual harassment.
(More in part 2)…
Protecting yourself when personal boundary is violated
Do not let the fear of judgment cause you to withdraw. You are absolutely not responsible for another person’s disrespectful behavior or boundary violations. Firmly protecting your personal space is your fundamental right. When you feel unsafe or harassed, the bravest step is to reach out to trusted individuals, university support channels, or competent authorities.
The Department of Student Affairs (DSA) is always ready to listen, accompany, and provide support when you need a safe harbor. Please email dsa@ueh.edu.vn or register for counseling at https://dsa.ueh.edu.vn/hoat-dong-tu-van/. Find out more information about Sexual Harassment Prevention activities at https://dsa.ueh.edu.vn/chong-quay-roi-tinh-duc/
News by: Department of Student Affairs (DSA)
REFERENCES
[1] Dân trí. (2022, May 09). Bình phẩm ngoại hình nữ giới: Ranh giới giữa khen ngợi và quấy rối tình dục. https://dantri.com.vn/nhip-song-tre/binh-pham-ngoai-hinh-nu-gioi-ranh-gioi-giua-khen-ngoi-va-quay-roi-tinh-duc-20220504140945031.htm
[2] Foundation for Media Alternatives. (2025, Aug 15). What to do if you’re filmed without consent. https://fma.rappler.com/posts/761/what-to-do-if-youre-filmed-without-consent/
[3] Rubin Law Corporation. (2024, Oct 25). Is hugging sexual harassment? https://www.stevenrubinlaw.com/is-hugging-sexual-harassment/
[4] SWGfL. (2026, Feb 13). Someone is filming me in public without my consent: What can I do? https://swgfl.org.uk/magazine/someone-is-filming-me-in-public-without-my-consent-what-can-i-do/
[5] The Philadelphia Inquirer. (2021, May 24). Consent, touch, hugging. https://www.inquirer.com/philly-tips/consent-touch-hugging-20210522.html