In workshops, seminars, conferences, and club events, networking has become an essential skill for many young people. It offers opportunities to expand relationships, explore career directions, and create valuable connections. However, beneath the energy and excitement of these interactions lies a question worth considering: Are you a Net-worker or a Net-collector?
Why are we afraid of being a stranger?
In spaces created for connection, such as workshops, seminars, and club events, feelings of isolation are often more common than we realize. Many people have found themselves standing in a crowd without knowing how to start a conversation, comparing themselves to those around them and worrying that they might come across as ordinary or uninteresting.
This fear is not simply a result of poor communication skills. As relationships increasingly become a form of social capital, many young people unconsciously view their ability to connect with others as a reflection of their competence, confidence, and even their self worth. When we see others chatting with ease, exchanging opportunities, or quickly finding their place in a new environment, it is easy to feel that we are somehow behind, not good enough, or being left out.
What is noteworthy is that this fear does not necessarily stem from poor communication skills. In a world where relationships are increasingly viewed as a form of social capital, many young people unconsciously treat networking ability as a measure of competence, confidence, and personal worth. When we see others engaging naturally in conversations, exchanging opportunities, or blending effortlessly into a new environment, it is easy to feel left behind or not good enough.
This pressure gradually transforms social interactions from opportunities to discover new people into tasks that must be completed. When the goal shifts from understanding others to gaining their approval, anxiety inevitably grows.
The feeling of being surrounded by strangers and not knowing how to break the ice. (Source: Internet)
Net-worker or Net-collector?
The popularity of networking culture has led many people to believe that the more connections they have, the more opportunities they will gain. While this is not entirely wrong, problems arise when quantity begins to replace quality.
At many events, exchanging contact information, connecting on social media, and introducing oneself often happen so quickly that participants barely remember whom they met or what they discussed. Networking can then be reduced to a process of seeking benefits or collecting opportunities.
However, networking has never been about asking for favors or building relationships solely for future use. At its core, networking is the process of building trust through meaningful value exchange between people.
From an economic perspective, relationships function much like a balance scale. Someone who continuously receives support without contributing anything in return is unlikely to sustain meaningful connections over time. In contrast, individuals who give, whether through enthusiasm, active listening, fresh perspectives, or small acts of support, often leave a far deeper impression.
The value of networking is not determined by how many connections one accumulates, but by whether the other person senses sincerity and a genuine desire to maintain the relationship.
Perhaps the focus should not be on what we can gain from an interaction, but on what we can bring to it.
Participants engaging in networking activities at the Ho Chi Minh City Internship and Career Fair (UEH Career Fair) (Source: UEH)
Social burnout: When trying to fit in exhausts you
Another common misconception is that networking is only for people who are outgoing, highly sociable, and capable of sustaining conversations effortlessly. As a result, many introverts or individuals with lower social energy feel pressured to change themselves to fit the environment.
They push themselves to be more proactive than necessary, fill every silence with small talk, or project confidence despite feeling drained inside. While this may initially create a sense of belonging, over time it can lead to social burnout.
Signs of social burnout extend beyond simply feeling tired after meeting many people. They can include feelings of emptiness, a loss of interest in social interactions, or the sense that one has become inauthentic during conversations. Relationships formed through constant self-pressure are also less likely to last because they lack the comfort and mutual understanding necessary for growth.
In reality, the ability to connect is not determined by who talks the most. It depends on who makes the conversation more meaningful.
The Art of Connection: Moving Beyond Networking Pressure
From Quantity to Depth
If stranger anxiety stems from the pressure to connect quickly and with as many people as possible, overcoming it does not require becoming more talkative. Instead, it requires a shift in how we view networking itself. A meaningful relationship is not created within a few minutes of self-introduction. It develops through repeated and meaningful interactions over time.
Shift the Goal: Be Remembered, Not Merely Known
Many people attend events with the goal of meeting as many people as possible. However, the number of connections does not necessarily reflect the quality of relationships. Rather than pressuring yourself to participate in every conversation, focus on leaving a genuine impression in a few interactions that truly matter. A conversation that makes someone remember your perspective, kindness, or energy is often far more valuable than dozens of superficial greetings.
Start with Small Connections
Not every meaningful relationship begins with a long conversation or a major opportunity. Sometimes, leaving a thoughtful comment on LinkedIn, asking a question at the end of a session, or expressing appreciation to a speaker can be the first step toward building a connection.
Small but intentional interactions reduce social pressure and make networking feel more natural.
Apply the 3 – 2 – 1 Rule
One practical way to avoid feeling overwhelmed while networking is to set realistic expectations. The 3 – 2 – 1 Rule can be interpreted as follows:
- Meet three new people at each event to avoid spreading your energy too thin.
- Have two meaningful conversations rather than numerous brief exchanges.
- Send one follow-up message within 24 hours to maintain the connection.
The purpose is not to achieve the numbers perfectly, but to create a networking rhythm that feels sustainable and authentic.
Choose Communities Over Constant Visibility
A common mistake is assuming that attending more events automatically leads to more opportunities. In reality, relevance and compatibility often matter more than frequency. Choosing communities that share similar interests, values, or professional goals can make interactions feel more natural and reduce the pressure to constantly prove yourself. Effective networking is not about endlessly expanding your social circle, it is about finding spaces where you can show up as your authentic self.
Conclusion
In a world where connecting with others has never been easier, the feeling of being a stranger in a crowd continues to quietly persist. Stranger anxiety reminds us that what people truly seek is not merely opportunity or recognition, but also understanding and a sense of belonging. Networking, therefore, should not be a race to collect business cards or expand a contact list. Instead, it should be a journey of building trust through sincere interactions and meaningful value exchange. Ultimately, the strength of a network is not measured by how many people know our names, but by how many genuinely remember who we are. And perhaps, in an ever-expanding ocean of connections, the most meaningful goal is not to be everywhere, but to find the places where we no longer feel like strangers.
News and Images by: Department of Student Affairs (DSA)
References
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